Dave, The Hero

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”
James Thurber


Dave, The Hero

With respect to James Thurber and his wonderful character, Walter Mitty, I too have flights of fancy where I use my imagination to be a hero. I am never a fighter pilot or pirate like Mr. Mitty, it is an imagining about me, the hero of my story.

One day I was walking do the park at Constitution and Pennsylvania and I saw a kid zip by on a motorcycle. I thought, “What if I had a motorcycle in high school?”. My dad had a Honda 350 but I’m thinking Harley, there is no way that I’d ever be able to get a Harley in high school.

How could it work? Well, maybe I could afford a busted up old Harley for cheap. Maybe I could go to a shop, like a low rider garage and offer to work for free in exchange for lessons on how to fix my bike. Being only fifteen years old, they couldn’t pay me anyways.

I’d work and they’d ignore me, of course. Probably regretting saying yes and hoping I’d just go away. But I see and learn about the low rider cars and culture and it is great. I think that these cars should be in the Smithsonian Museum in Washington DC. I ask the owner if I can write them, he doesn’t care at all.

I write and tell the Smithsonian that they need a low rider car in their Transportation Museum, it represents a sub-culture of America. One day, two identical gray suits show up at the shop and commission the owner to make a low rider and give him a big stack of federal money.

The car gets built and my bike is suddenly the focus of attention. When the Smithsonian guys show up to get the car, I call the television station and say, “Hey, the Smithsonian is taking a low rider to it’s museum, you want this”. And they say, “be right there.” I call the mayor, “photo op, the tv is covering a low rider going into the Smithsonian.” He says, “On my way.” I call the governor, “The news and the mayor are at this shop that made a low rider for the Smithsonian, the Hispanic vote is on the line.” He says, “Don’t let them start without me.”

Soon there is a framed photo of the owner, the mayor, the governor and the Smithsonian guys and me on the wall of the shop. Business is very good. And I’m driving a tricked out Harley that everyone on town knows, “Don’t mess with this guy, he’s favored in the community’.

Crazy no? One has to think these things through.

My main tank in the World of Warcraft came in fourth of eighty-eighty costume entries at a big gaming convention, I think they call it Gamescom? He said that when his fantasy armor lit up, every cheered!

I can make armor light up. A 12 volt motorcycle battery and 12 volt lamps, easily done. Take the turn signal switches from many varieties and they’d blink at different speeds. All for about twenty bucks.

How about you take plastic tubing and attach it at the shoulder, let it run down your back to some packed paper dots and a bicycle pump? You’d be a walking confetti special effect! All for about twenty bucks.

Maybe a mask that bleeds or cries tears? Aquarium tubing and a turkey injector would force any liquid like saline solution or red-dyed water. The darn thing would cost about six bucks and win you first prize.

Of course, to do this, I’d have to sell the ideas. I’d need a make-up artist and a model and a photographer. We’d need release forms so each could use the photos for our portfolios. The gaming world might love this and ask me to be on their panels, the make-up artist might get hired by Vogue, the photographer is now a specialist at shooting special effects and the model is asked to every gaming convention in the world.

It could happen.

It isn’t hard to be creative. The fun part is using the imagination to think things through to the end even when playing with time travel!

Listen, they sell books of Baby Names. Honest! I am as surprised as you are. You can use your imagination to name your own kid! And if you can do that, you can imagine yourself a hero and then have answers and ideas at your fingertips as you go through your own real life.

Have fun!

Forged in Fire is a cool show. They make knives. Now, what if I could …

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